Year of Progress

CAUTION: THIS POST CONTAINS EATING DISORDER BEHAVIORS

I am proud to say that yesterday, March 27, marked 1 year since I went into the Center for Change. That is unbelievable. This time last year, I was over my head with self-hatred and depression. I am proud to say that on March 27 of this year I spent with my husband, eating at a restaurant, and loving every minute of the day. It’s amazing how much this past year has brought.

Just 1 year ago my thoughts contained so many negative things. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy anything good (including Red Lobster biscuits which I got to rock this year!). I was living by so many rules that were insane! I’m hesitant to put those rules I lived by on here because I don’t want to give anyone ideas but to fully understand the place I was in I want to give y’all an idea:

·      I could not consume more than 500 calories a day

·      If I ate over I had to workout to make up for those extra calories

·      I took a laxative everyday to get everything out of my system (yeah…gross)

·      If I ate too much I couldn’t go out

·      I HAD to take my diet pill everyday (2 a day if I was feeling “fat”)

·      I had to take my diuretic pill to get rid of extra water weight

·      I couldn’t be bigger than a certain size of clothing (I won’t specify)

·      I could only eat plain, air-popped popcorn

I’m sure there was more but I don’t remember, nor do I want to. Aren’t those ridiculous, though? Having to live by those rules was exhausting and, honestly, I have no idea how I survived as long as I did. It does make sense that I got a hole in my stomach! The weird thing is that all those rules made sense to me. This year I live by one rule:

·      EAT WHAT I WANT!

In the Center they taught us about “intuitive eating”, which there’s actually a book that explains the whole concept. The basic idea of intuitive eating is eat what you’re body is craving. Our bodies are trained to crave what our body needs. It explains that our bodies have set body weights that we are supposed to be at. When we diet and try to lose weight, we mess up our set weight and actually make our set body weight higher, meaning when you stop dieting you will naturally weigh more. Sucks right? Unless you’re planning on dieting your whole life, diets are stupid! Why not keep your body the way it’s MEANT TO BE. Learn to love the body you have if you want to be happy.

In just one year I have: moved to a new state, lived on my own, gotten a job,  found my testimony, fallen in love,  made a new best friend (also the person I fell in love with), married my best friend, and most importantly recovered from my eating disorder of 7 years. I would say it’s been a pretty great year. I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was to call my mom on March 27 and talk to her about the great things going on in my life. I know she was happy to talk about the good things too. Life is great. I love being Karissa Dawn Stanley. She’s a pretty great person with a great life.

If I was going to give any advice to someone that would like to have a recovery as great and special as mine, I would say just to have faith. Have faith in yourself, and if you believe in a God, have faith that He can bring you through this. I know that’s why I have gotten to this point so quickly. I set a firm foundation of faith.