"Try"

I have been wanting to write a post for awhile now but I can never get myself to sit down and do it, but I finally gave in tonight. There has been so many things on my mind that I thought would be good to write about. Hopefully I can write a few posts in the next little while, especially since I don't post very often (sorry about that). The number one thing I want to write about is based on the song "Try" by Colbie Caillat. If you haven't heard it, you really should! I will post the lyrics at the bottom of the page.

The song talks about someone going to the extremes to ensure that people like them. They do their  make-up, make sure their hair is perfect, lose weight, having the perfect outfit, etc. It rings so true to many girls (and guys too) growing up right now. They think that the most important thing in life, the meaning of life, is to make sure everyone approves of you. It sounds crazy but at the same time it makes sense. They aren't secure in themselves that they need other peoples' approval to let them know that they are living life "right". 

I can't begin to explain how true this was for me. I wanted so badly to be accepted by anyone I came in contact with. I have come to realize that it is IMPOSSIBLE to do this. The funny thing is, the more I tried to be liked by my peers, the less liked I felt. My every thought was based on what other people would think. When I would look back at my high school experience, I would think that people didn't even know who I was and I was ultimately not liked, despite my efforts.

There are so many different types of people. If you try to be accepted by every person then you CANNOT be yourself. You just become a jumbled mess of everyone else. Who can be all 7 billion people in 1? 

Today, for the first time since getting healthy, I looked at a picture of myself from back when I was deep in my eating disorder...and it was scary. Not only did I look unhealthy but I looked so hollow, so dead inside. There was no part of Karissa left. It is astounding how different I am in every way from  that "Karissa", or whoever the heck I was. Why am I so different? 1 reason: I am now ME. I don't hide behind make-up and hairspray, I don't try to fit into a mold that the world has created, I don't live my life trying to impress everyone I come in contact with; and let me tell you, I feel so free.  I have  now gained my own opinions, discovered my own style, and grown comfortable in my own skin. I love being Karissa Dawn Stanley and I know that I am one of a kind, 100% me. 

That being said, it doesn't mean I don't get inspired by other people or look up to others. Many of my likes, dislikes, opinions, etc., come from my husband. Not because I feel the need to be a certain person for him, but because we view life the same way. We still disagree on some things and I almost prefer it that way. It comforts me to know that I have my own unique thoughts and I know that I am not molding to other people.

I get a little sad when I see girls I'm friends with on Facebook that are just a cookie-cutter of every other girl (which I'm pretty sure is a collage of pins on Pinterest). They always have their hair done up, their make-up is so thick that it is practically a mask, and they always have to be in the "latest" clothes. Let me tell you, a life like this is such a burden. Everything they do has to be accepted by everyone else. No one (and I mean NO ONE) wants to be done up every day. It is so time consuming living like this. You spend 2 hours everyday getting made up and perfect. That's time you could be with family and friends, or doing something meaningful. I would much rather be spending time with my husband and son or bettering myself emotionally/spiritually in some way. I truly regret the time I wasted making myself "perfect" for everyone else. That was time that I could have been something more worthwhile. It is time that I will never get back...and that is a scary thought.

I hope this post touches at least someone's heart. I would hate for anyone to be living for someone else. Choose this day to find yourself, to start the journey of loving who you are and why you specifically were put on this earth. Everyone has a purpose, and that purpose is NOT to look and be "perfect" in the distorted eyes of the world. Don't be afraid to be you.

                                                                     "Try"

                                                               Colbie Caillat

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you. Do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you. Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Oh

Get your shopping on,
At the mall,
Max your credit cards
You don't have to choose,
Buy it all
So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you're all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

No
Oh

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
You don't have to try

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don't you like you?
Cause I like you