Healthy Eating or Disordered Eating?

I want to start off by saying thank you to all of my readers! Whether you are reading because you are a friend of mine and have wanted to know more about what I struggled with, or if you are someone who is struggling yourself and are looking for help. I am so grateful for your support. Each of you has made me feel loved.

I have debated not posting anymore on this blog because I didn't want to be know for my eating disorder. I don't know that it's something I necessarily want everyone I meet to know about. My eating disorder is something that I have conquered, that I have beat, and for a little while I was wondering if this blog was hindering me from moving past it. Then I remembered why I started this blog; to help others understand what it's like to have an eating disorder, and more importantly to help those who are struggling. The people I have met may not have an eating disorder or depression but they may know someone that could really benefit from reading this. So with that thought in mind, I will continue...

There is something I have been wanting to write about on this blog that I think applies to a wide variety of people. It is something that is becoming more common in society today that all my readers need to be aware of:

HEALTHY EATING: WHEN DOES IT BECOME AN EATING DISORDER?

I have been reading some articles to study for writing this post. While reading these articles, I cannot believe how many people struggle with what is called Orthorexia Nervosa. The unofficial definition of Orthorexia Nervosa is a term which literally means “fixation on righteous eating.”  Orthorexia starts out as an innocent attempt to eat more healthfully, but orthorexics become fixated on food quality and purity.  They become consumed with what and how much to eat, and how to deal with “slip-ups.”  Every day is a chance to eat right, be “good,” rise above others in dietary mastery, and self-punish if temptation wins (usually through stricter eating, fasts and exercise).

So when does healthy eating become disordered eating? When your self-worth gets dragged into it. Self-esteem becomes wrapped up in the purity of orthorexics’ diet and they sometimes feel superior to others, especially in regard to food intake.

Those who battle with Othorexia Nervosa may seem like very healthy people. Some may even envy their iron-clad will. Why not? We all want to be healthy, right? Well there is nothing healthy about how they are living. They are in a mental prison. Eventually food choices become very restrictive, in both variety and calories, that their health begins to suffer – which is ironic for a person who is so completely dedicated to healthy eating.  The fixation with healthy eating can start to then force out other activities and interests, impair relationships, and become physically dangerous.

Anorexia is defined as "a lack of appetite for food; an emotional disorder characterized by an obsessive desire to lose weight." Well, orthorexia has a lot in common with anorexia, and in my opinion, is a  dangerous road to anorexia, bulimia, and/or binge eating. When food becomes more than just something that fuels your body, that's when it starts to become a problem.

Orthorexia appears to be motivated by health, but there are underlying motivations, which can include safety from poor health, compulsion for complete control, escape from fears, wanting to be thin, improving self-esteem, searching for spirituality through food, and using food to create an identity.

The diet of orthorexics can actually be unhealthy, with nutritional deficits specific to the diet they have imposed upon themselves.  These nutritional issues may not always be apparent. Social problems are more obvious.  Orthorexics may be socially isolated, often because they plan their life around food.  They may have little room in life for anything other than thinking about and planning food intake.  Orthorexics lose the ability to eat intuitively – to know when they are hungry, how much they need, and when they are full.   Instead of eating naturally they are destined to keep “falling off the wagon,” resulting in a feeling of failure familiar to followers of any diet. If that's not disordered eating, I don't know what is. Their obsession with food brings on depressive and OCD manners.

I would like to point out one line from the last paragraph: "Orthorexics lose the ability to eat intuitively – to know when they are hungry, how much they need, and when they are full." How can something that is supposedly "healthy" destroy your body's natural instincts? Doesn't that make it UNnatural?? One thing I am very glad the Center for Change helped me learn was intuitive eating. Intuitive eating is becoming more attuned to the body's natural hunger signals. It is a more effective way to attain a healthy weight, rather than keeping track of the amounts of energy and fats in foods. Your body has its own signals that tell you what your body needs. If you want something "natural" you should be doing what humans have been doing since the beginning of time: eating intuitively.

There was a questionnaire on one of the articles I read, and if you read my last post (Admitting You Have a Problem) I did one and I think they are really helpful. If you are unsure if you have Orthorexia Nervosa, ask yourself these questions and they may clear it up for you.

• Do you wish that occasionally you could just eat and not worry about food quality?
• Do thoughts about food (calories, fat, sodium, ingredients) fill your mind throughout the day?
• Do you ever wish you could spend less time on food and more time living and loving?
• Does it seem beyond your ability to eat a meal prepared with love by someone else – one single meal – and not try to control what is served?
• Are you constantly looking for ways foods are unhealthy for you?
• Do love, joy, play and creativity take a back seat to following the perfect diet?
• Do you feel guilt or self-loathing when you stray from your diet?
• Do you feel in control when you stick to the “correct” diet?
• Have you put yourself on a nutritional pedestal and wonder how others can possibly eat the foods they eat? 

Following a healthy diet does not mean you are orthorexic, and nothing is wrong with eating healthfully.  It IS a problem when 1) it is taking up an inordinate amount of time and attention in your life; 2) deviating from that diet is met with guilt and self-loathing; and/or 3) it is used to avoid life issues and leaves you separate and alone.

Food is supposed to be something to enjoy. It fills your body and soul with wonderful things!

Once again I will end by saying that if you think you are struggling or need someone to talk to, please reach out to someone. Strive for a better, happier life. It is worth it and it is possible!



PS If there is anything you would like me to write about, any questions you have about my eating disorder personally or in general, tips or questions on how to help a loved one or even yourself, or anything else you can think of, just leave me a comment. I would love to hear feedback!